chinese man rings boss “me no work I sick” boss says “when im sick I f*ck my wife try that” 2 hours later chinese man rings back “me better, you got nice house An 80yr old couple were seen shagging furiously up against a fence. For 40 mins they shagged like Bast*rds. Arms and legs going everywhere until they fell to the floor. Christ she said “you didnt F*ck Me like that 50yrs ago! To which the old man replied “50 yrs ago that fence Wasnt F*cking electric!What did the left butt cheek tell the right one..?
If we stick together, we can stop this sh*t.Got approached by a prostitute today who said that she would do anything for $10. Guess who just got their car washed?

Got sacked from my job yesterday for being a pervert.

I don’t understand why, I’m always hard at work.Some people say there are no rules when it comes to love. Unfortunately for me the judge disagreed


I feel so dirty right now, PLEASE DO ME!


The Dishes

The following conversation took place between a 3-year-old boy and his mum while having a bath.

Boy: ‘Mum are these round things between my legs my brains?’
Mum: ‘No not yet!’Can’t believe how sexist my local gym is. They cancelled my membership because they said apparently “men aren’t allowed in the female shower rooms”


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